Playing for a Cause that is Bigger than Oneself
Long after the crowd had left and the cameras had moved, a lone runner entered the stadium to complete the 26-mile-long marathon in the 1968 Mexico City Olympics. Injured earlier in the race during the fall, he stumbled along, more than an hour after the others had finished. Hurling himself to the finish line, John Stephen Akhwari of Tanzania finished dead last. But before you judge him as a loser, take careful heed of the words he uttered when asked why he did not quit earlier when he had been injured: “My country did not send me 7,000 miles to start the race. They sent me 7,000 miles to finish it.”

How many other times have we heard of athletes who push to play through and injury to finish an event and even inspire a team to victory?

In the 1972-1973 season, the New York Knickerbockers basketball team reached the 7th game of the championship finals. Their star center, Willis Reed, was not expected to play or even show up. In fact, they left him standing in his civvies as they went out of the locker room. The team was given no shot to win against the very powerful Los Angeles Lakers team. Both teams were out on the court practicing before the start of the game. The crowd was quiet expecting the worst outcome. A roar rose up from Madison Square Garden. There was Willis Reed running out to the court. He grabbed a basketball and started practicing. You could feel the energy shift in the crowd and the team. Ultimately, the Knickerbockers won the game and thereby the World Championship.

“We have all been hurt at one time or another, in one way or another, by one thing or another. Sometimes the pain is so severe that it is just too much to keep going as if nothing had happened. So, we take a breath, rest our body and mind, and pick ourselves up and go at it again. This action can rally a team of any kind.

This article will address more communication blocks that can interfere with inner personal blocks (player in player and coach in coach) and interpersonal blocks (player to coach, player to player, and coach to player) understandings and athletic performance. It is helpful if you read Communication Blocks: Parts I, II and III.

22. A coach/athlete changes the subject (defocuses) repeatedly or suddenly without asking if the other party (athlete/coach) is done can imply that their current needs (and dignity) are superior to the other’s needs. The receiving party’s responsibility is to notice the defocusing and how it feels, and be assertive about finishing their first topic if s/he need to.
23. Hinting or asking leading (indirect) questions to a player or a coach can be OK or can imply “I don’t trust one of us to deal squarely with my subject. “Having a hidden agenda often results in sending double messages, which usually leave the receiver feeling confused, suspicious, discounted and resentful.
24. Habitual lack of eye contact, speaking hesitantly, or constant apologizing, all say “I feel inferior now. This may be OK if the receiver is comfortable feeling superior. Over time, though, this style promotes loss of respect in both player and coach communication partners, which breeds discounting, poor listening, and ineffective communications.
25. Habitual nonstop talking will probably condition regular listeners that nothing is expected of them – which are what the speaker will probably get. The jabberer’s real communication need here may be to avoid stressful confrontation, surprises, or intimacy (keep the other emotionally distant), or to avoid scary thoughts and feelings.
26. The listening person may become overwhelmed (flooded) with information, ideas or feelings. If the speaker doesn’t pause, or if the receiver doesn’t assert (ask them to), real hearing and effective communication will stop. This block often happens when the speaker’s Emotional level is “above the ears” and s/he needs to vent, lecture, or moralize without empathically caring what the listener’s current needs are (implied R-message: “You’re 1-down to me now.”
27. Athletes and coaches not making enough time to talk clearly and thoroughly about important conflictual issues. Lack of effective discussion (all key needs filled) takes an eventual toll on any player/coach relationship. “We just don’t have time” is false-self deception for “Communication isn’t important enough for me.”
28. Not checking to see if the athlete or coach each got his/her primary (vs. surface) needs met in key communication exchanges, especially in major disagreements will create an increase in unfinished business. Trust that key communications between the speakers will work over time will probably shrink too.
29. Defensively denying that the player/coach is doing any of these communication blocks, without trying to investigate and verify, is perhaps the most potent block of all.

A first step toward resolving any of these blocks is by asking the other party is open to feedback on their communication behavior or habits. Agree that such feedback doesn’t mean “You’re bad” or “I’m right.”

Introduction

There is a great deal of science involved in the physical processes of training. Effective training that brings results inspires confidence. When training results clearly indicate certain levels of performance capabilities that are not realized in competition then it becomes clear that the challenge is mental. Only a very few athletes are “naturally” mentally tough. Most require either huge amounts of experience and early success to give a good account of their training and ability. Many athletes only develop the ability to maximize their ability when their best physical years are passed. There are ways to accelerate the process by which athletes can achieve complete performances commensurate with their ability.

My own formula for overcoming these barriers is a structure I call “The Essential Five” components of mental training. If practiced this is a useful tool that you can draw on to perform at the highest level. This approach can help you determine a language and strategy that ensures that you access as much as your physical potential as possible.

Human beings are thinkers. We have a constant flow of chatter going on in our minds. This incessant internal dialogue determines wholly how we act. We are not our thoughts, but we think we are, and act accordingly. When we get ready to train or race, we have a pretty fixed set of thoughts around these occurrences; e.g. “I’m not really good in the heat.”, or “I’ll get dropped in the swim and I’ll be history”. For the most part, we are unaware of these thoughts and how they absolutely determine how our training and racing turns out.

Based on the assumption that you will think something before you race, and that you will have very distinct thoughts while you train and race, you can pre-plan your thoughts and effectively program a successful event. Like race drinks and new equipment, mental strategies need to be rehearsed and refined before you take them into the cauldron of racing.

I. Strategy

Use Positive affirmations based on realistic, but high standards, written down and repeated (often and out loud). This is one of the more successful techniques used by winning sportsmen and women; rivaled only by visualization as the most effective tool to access potential. Just as you plan training and racing according to the specific demands of distance, terrain, surface, weather and your fitness level, so too you can prepare simple statements, or affirmations, to repeat to yourself when a certain situation arises. For example: A short, sharp incline out of T2, which might normally evoke a negative self statement such as: “Oh no, this is really going to hurt and spoil my run split” can be reprogrammed to elicit a key coping strategy, set in motion by a well-rehearsed instruction to yourself: “Shorten your arm action, hit back with the elbows so as to maintain rhythm…lean into it now” – same situation, different self-talk, better result.

When you “talk” to yourself, talk to yourself in the second person, e.g. “You smoothly and powerfully negotiate the hills on this course.”

The more detailed your planning, preparation and target setting, the less space you leave for negative thoughts to creep in. Write down your coping statements. This gives you easier access to them when the realities of race day are upon you. Break your race up into the smallest possible segments and aim to concentrate on one segment at a time.

II. Focus

Elite endurance athletes focus inwards. They do not attempt to take their minds off their running or the race by thinking of something else.

A good way to evaluate your powers of concentration is to determine how much of the race you can recall and how many times you lost focus or thought of something irrelevant to performance. “Did you notice all the construction near the 5km marker?” means you were concentrating – but not on the race.

One way in which countless tri-athletes lose concentration is by trying to avoid how hard the effort feels to them by trying to think of something else (see point number 5). What actually happens is that by focusing on not doing something you are in fact accessing the very thing you are trying to avoid. On top of this the mind cannot read a non-instruction – it removes the negative. Tell the mind what to do, not what not to do! By focusing on something else you lose power and control over the ability you have, because your mind is occupied with something that is irrelevant to your performance.

Tri-athletes respond well to advice that has them concentrate on a subjective feeling earlier in the race and on each leg. Example: “I feel like a dolphin, smooth and powerful” or “like a powerful motorcycle” or “like a wolf”. Any positive image of strength, endurance, efficiency and speed should do it. Then later, when the auto pilot feeling begins to fade, I have athletes turn to objective technical thoughts such as, (for the run) “Use your arms, relax your shoulders, lean into the hill”.

Remember the 75 percent factor: the physical and mental low point of a race. You’ve come too far to quit, and are too far from home to attack, and so you drift in no-man’s land. You become non-present to the situation and access to the full energy you have is lost. Your thoughts and focus are on what has passed and how that affects you, and what is to come – like, “Do I still have enough gas for the finish?” By not being in the present you are dwelling on things you have no control over – the past and the future. By getting into the present, you can work on so many things. You can use your arms; repeat your affirmations and so on. In other words, focus on the task at hand. Ensure that you always work hard on this area in training, until it becomes second nature. Add a focusing statement to your strategy: “I refocus my concentration on the bike from 30 to 36km (for a draft ride). On the run you could use something like, “I really gather my resources just after 7km.”

From analysis of many endurance events it has been found that the first 19% is usually achieved at predetermined pace. Expect and plan to go a little faster than 19 to 38%. Pace then normally decreases till about 76%, and from then on, the slowest part of the event usually occurs. By knowing this, you should be able to plan times of increased concentration and sensible pace adjustments. In this way you can ensure that the race holds less anxiety for you. This is especially relevant for non-drafting bike sections and the run.

Publisher’s Note: In this edition of Psyched, we have re-published the “Introduction”, “Strategy” and “Focus” sections of Mr. Bobby McGee’s article. In the next edition of Psyched, we will publish the sections titled “Anxiety and Relaxation”, “Visualization”, and “Dealing and Discomfort”. It is such a unique presentation of helpful information that we have kept it word for word as it was written by Mr. McGee. It would be of great value for you to check in with his website (www.bobbymcgee.com) and review his biography, services, and book that he has written called “Magic Running.”

questions@psychedonline.org
From: XXXXXX@msn.com
Subject: Meditation
Date: September 17, 2005

I’ve been a billiards player for over 15 years. The game is great. I get to meet some wonderful people. My dad taught me the game and bought me first pool cue stick. Over the past three years, my ability to concentrate and focus and stay calm has been decreasing and so has my quality of play. I ran across an article about a master’s level chess player has used meditation to calm his mind. I wondered if it would be helpful in my sport of choice since it requires similar mental abilities. So, I began to practice meditation and have found myself inconsistent in my sitting. Sometimes I forget to sit and other times I can’t maintain the meditation position. Do you have any thoughts?
Dear XXXXXX@msn.com,

Response: Meditation can be helpful to any athlete playing any sport. Having a calm mind allows for greater focus, connection between mind and body, and entering a zone where performance is at its highest. Let me offer some helpful hints for sustaining your sitting meditation practice:

1. Sit every day, even if it’s for a short period. A few times during the day, establish contact with your body and breath.
2. Remember that everyone wants to be calm, just like you.
3. Practice regularly with a group or a friend.
4. Use inspiring resources such as books or audiotapes of meditation talks.
5. Sign up for a retreat – one day, a weekend, or longer. The experience will deepen the ability to sit.
6. If you miss a day, a week, or a month – simply begin again.
7. If you need guidance, ask for help from an experienced meditator or teacher.

In the next edition of Psyched, we will offer more ideas about meditation.

Good Luck,

Paul Schienberg, Ph.D.
Editor/Publisher

The mental preparation for competitive swimming.
QUOTATION: Sparky Anderson, Hall of Fame Baseball Manager – “People who live in the past generally are afraid to complete in the present. I’ve got my faults, but living in the past is not one of them. There’s no future in it.”

A rip current is a section of water (common in the ocean) that moves away from shore rapidly and forcefully. It usually occurs around uneven surfaces such as sandbars or man made formations like a jetty or a dock. Understanding how to deal with a rip current is important for safety. It also carries lessons for goal setting and life.

The irony is that to be successful versus the rip current we must not try to attack it directly. If we try to fight it we may lose. This runs counter to our survival instinct. If a threatening force pulls us in a direction, instinct tells us to go in the opposite direction. We want to overcome the frightening force of the rip current. The solution is simple but doing what is simple is not always easy. The trick is to swim at an angle to the rip current, usually parallel to shore. Trust is critical. Think about that. In order to reach our goal (shore) we cannot go directly toward it at first. The correct process (path) will eventually let us break free of the rip current and reach shore (our goal).

Success in competitive swimming sometimes requires us to negotiate rip currents of a sort. We all want to swim fast. It seems logical that the way to do so is to swim fast in practice. Fast swimming in practice is necessary, but we must also have patience to establish a physical and technical foundation upon which to insure consistent, long-term success. Taking time to develop sound technique and to establish a solid endurance base is important. If we stay process focused we will enjoy incremental improvements. Being results focused can cause us to lose patience and skip important steps needed for long-term success. As a swimmer you may have to “swim parallel to shore” before you reach your final destiny. Swimmers need a patient, long-term view to insure safe, effective progress. Increased training loads and efforts to refine technique are processes that may not always seem to point immediately “to shore”. You may actually feel as though you stumble backwards from the increased training load or the change in mechanics. Change can be unsettling and adaptations take time. You will ultimately arrive “on shore” and your victory will be particularly grand and pleasant. Stay determined to reach your goals and be results driven but stay process focused. Trust yourself and the process.

The rip current has applications to swimming mechanics. There are moments in each stroke when you generate effective propulsion. There are also moments when you need to relax and perhaps resist the temptation to apply force to the water. Novice swimmers sometimes try to apply a lot of force as soon as the hand enters the water in free style. As in a rip current, applying force too early in one’s stroke is self-defeating. Patiently learning correct technique lets one swim efficiently and economically.

The rip current has lessons in the area of mental preparation also. No matter how prepared one is, it is possible to get distracted or feel nervous. You can choose to get angry or upset but that is like trying to fight the rip current. We sometimes think that we have to show we are tough by getting upset and waging a battle with the thing that bothers us. “We will show the rip current who the boss is.” Unfortunately we lose if we let the rip current (our opponent or something that irritates us) steal our focus. They are temporary distractions that are not worthy of our attention. We need to shift our focus to a happy thought or to a path that will (eventually but efficiently) let us succeed. Trust, redirect and stay true to your goal. Rather than waste effort trying to fight a force that will not listen or cooperate (like a rip current), try shifting your focus to something that you like, that makes you confident and happy? Again, sometimes the best route to our goal is not the obvious one. Patience, persistence and trust will let you reach your goal.

Older and particularly advanced swimmers may feel like they are in a rip current from the fatigue of increased training loads. This is particularly common when swimmers transition to a more advanced training group. This can also be compounded when they take on greater demands such as occurs when one enters high school or college respectively. Fatigue is probably not fun, but if you understand how and why it is a normal part of the process of learning, growing and athletic training, you will be able to stay positive and true to your opportunity and destiny. Trust the process, stay the course and you will shine when it’s time. You will break through and reach your goal(s).

Further exploring specific problems and resolutions designed to get athletes and coaches on the same frequency.

This article will address more communication blocks that can interfere with inner personal blocks (player in player and coach in coach) and interpersonal blocks (player to coach, player to player and coach to player) understandings and athletic performance. Please re-read The Basics in “Communication Blocks: I & II”, volume 3, Issue 7 and volume 4, Issue 1 before reading the list in this article (www.psychedonline.org/Article/Vol4Issue2/CommunicationBlocks.htm).

15. A coach/player can send a “Be spontaneous!” paradox. This occurs when one person requests or demands something from another person that can only be given spontaneously – like trust, interest, acceptance, appreciation, desire, and respect. Should the second person try to comply, the first person may then say – “You’re just doing that because I asked you to, not because you really mean it.”
    The solution to this block is mutual knowledge of this concept, mutual communication awareness and the second person asserting something like “You’re asking me to give you something that has to be spontaneous” and both people digging down to illuminate the underlying relationship needs that are causing this situation.
16. Generalizing can muffle or distort the current message and prevent effective problem solving. “You’re always insensitive and inconsiderate!” will probably be received differently than “I’m mad and frustrated because you’re 40 minutes late and I missed my team bus!” You always…”or “You never…” are deadly because they imply the receiver is 1 – down (disrespected) and invite him or her to feel guilty and defensive about many past events as well as the present one. Normal responses to this block are to flee, tune out, and/or counterattack (vs. listen empathetically and problem-solve).
17. Preaching, moralizing, or advising someone with a problem (I’m just trying to help!”) can erode relationships if the “struggler” just needs to vent (be respectfully heard and accepted). These reactions in the receiver promote dependency, helplessness, and imply” I’m 1-up – I know how to fix your problem and, you don’t.” Sometimes this is true!Me/You
18. Players and coaches not knowing the difference between win-win problem-solving and common (ineffective) alternatives like fighting, arguing, threatening, avoiding, blaming, explaining, preaching, moralizing, monologing, hinting, whining, numbing out, defocusing, enduring, imposing, submitting, pretending and assuming. When any of these occur try asking “Are we problem -solving now, or something else?
19. Sarcastic, critical (vs. affectionate) name-calling erodes the receiver’s self-esteem and the odds for cooperative problem solving. “You’re stupid, lazy, spacey, nuts, weird, hopeless, a jerk ……..”etc. hurts! The non verbal version of this block is a player’s/coach’s look that conveys massive disapproval. Whose needs get met?
20. Physical or emotional withdrawal is a powerful communication that may imply “You scare or overwhelm me”. In resolving this communication block, respectfully explore if the sender is unconsciously doing something that triggers withdrawal.
21. Threats or demands suggest “My current needs are more important than yours!” They provoke hurt resentment, defiance, and everyone feeling badly about themselves and/or the exchange. The receiver has to use assertive metatalk when this happens – “I feel you’re making a demand (or a threat) now. When you do that, I feel resentful, anxious, and combative. I need you to make your point another way.”

A “shrink” can expand your athletic performance.

By Paul Schienberg, PhD

Look what you’ve done, Yankee fans.

According to a report in the New York Daily News, New York Yankee third baseman Alex Rodriquez said he was undergoing therapy with multiple therapists to deal with his personal demons.

Rodriquez made the admission after he and his wife, Cynthia, donated $200,000 to a mental health program at the Children’s Aid Society in Washington Heights.

“I don’t know where I’d be (without therapy),” Rodriguez told the television show “Extra” in a segment to air Wednesday night at 7 E.T.

“I think it’s a different life that I’ve discovered and I thank Cynthia for that because therapy is an incredible thing and you might get to know someone you didn’t even know was in there.

“Why let the train wreck come before you fix it?”

Rodriguez did not specify the reasons for his ongoing therapy, but characterized his sessions as a “maintenance thing.”

The admission is a rarity in the world of professional sports.

After struggling during his first season in New York, Rodriguez has rebounded in his second go-around. His two homers during the Yankees’ 12-3 win over the Tigers Tuesday gave him a major league best 16 home runs and 46 RBI’s.

“It’s helped in baseball, for one, in terms of my approach to everything,” Rodriguez told the Daily News. “I think it would be great if kids out there realize that it can be a great benefit.”

Rodriquez has previously admitted to a rocky relationship with his father, Victor, who abandoned him when he was just nine years old. Victor resurfaced when the younger Rodriguez reached the major leagues, but the two remain estranged.

“I know where he came from and I know where he came from and I know his background and seeing how successful he is as a man, as a husband, as a friend, it really hits home with me,” Rodriguez’s wife Cynthia told the show. “It’s because of therapeutic intervention that he’s been able to discover and flourish as a person.”

Virtually every pro golfer (or professional athlete of any type) you talk to or read an interview with, plays because they think it is fun. But sports aren’t fun for me. Even though I have some ability and am physically capable, I end up trying so hard that I turn everything (golf, volleyball, speed skating, and track) into work. I’ll go to the range week after week rather than go to the golf course to actually play because I don’t think I belong anywhere near a course. I’ll train and train and train but never run in races because I’m ashamed that I’m not better or afraid that I won’t do well enough. How do I lower my standards so that being an “also ran” is OK? Is that what it takes to have fun? I don’t want to give up trying to do better because I really believe I can. I don’t get mad, I don’t throw clubs, but every bad shot destroys what meager self-confidence. I have. I don’t want to be a touring pro, I just want to play better and be able to have fun and be fun to play with. Right now…I’m not.

Dear XXXXXX@msn.com,

Response: I’d like to offer some thoughts that may be useful. Of course, playing a sport at a higher level can add enjoyment. If you are one of those type A’s who can never do it good enough, enjoyment will not come with better performance.

Here’s one suggestion. Break down a round of golf into single shots. Think of each shot as a round of golf itself. Stop counting number of shots per round or per hole. Let someone else keep track of shots if you need to know at the end of the round how you did. Put each shot taken behind you – whether it is a good one or a bad one. In between shots, look at the scene. Take in the trees, the grass, the shadows, etc. This might sound silly, but it is so important to feel grateful for the day. Maybe you are playing with friends – maybe they are new acquaintances. Connect with the entire experience. When it is time to take a shot, go through your pre-shot routine, take your swing, and go back to the entire circumstances. It is as much a part of the game as the flight of the ball. Experience the gratefulness of having the day.

Also, it is important to look at playing as a learning experience. You’re not supposed to know it all and perform the task perfectly. You play the course to learn to play the course. Confidence is an important attitude to have when coming to play. But, expectations of high performance can make an athlete less resilient to misplays and make recovery more difficult. It becomes more difficult to get these disappointing plays out of your mind when expectations are unreasonable or only positive. In a round of golf where athletes strike the ball somewhere between 70 and 110 times, the expectations of doing everything well, is a set up to lose composure and experience unhappiness. It would be helpful to view training and practice as much a part of the game as playing the round on the golf course. It’s all about learning and growing and part of learning is slipping and falling and picking your self up and trying again. This is the game. This is what it needs to be about for all athletes, professional and amateur alike.

Good Luck,

Paul Schienberg, Ph.D.
Editor/Publisher